When Women Feel Rage at the Patriarchy – What Do We Do With It?

I want to speak about something that many women feel but don’t always say out loud. Rage. Not dramatic rage. Not man-hating rage. But that deep anger that comes from years of being dismissed, over-responsible, over-giving, unseen, or controlled. When I use the word patriarchy, I’m not speaking about ideology. I’m speaking about lived experience - medical dismissal, financial imbalance, emotional over-reliance, coercion, subtle or overt control, and the expectation that we will just cope.

I know this terrain. I have experienced coercion and control in my own life. I have spent many years in what I now understand as survival mode - over-functioning, holding everything together, being the capable one, pushing through. I recognise how much of my life was lived in “masculine mode,” always managing, organising, enduring. That energy kept me going. It helped me survive. But it also came at a cost.

For many women, rage builds slowly. It isn’t always loud. It can sit in the body as tension, inflammation, tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, or constant alertness. It can show up as frustration at men, at systems, at the medical world, at financial structures, or at ourselves for tolerating more than we should have. Often, it’s all of it combined.

What I have come to understand, through my own process and through working with women, is that rage is rarely just rage. Underneath it is often grief. Grief for the self we lost. Anger that we were not protected. Sadness that no one taught us boundaries. Frustration that we became strong because we had to be.

The danger is not the anger itself. The danger is what we do with it. If we suppress it, it turns inward. If we live in it constantly, our nervous system stays in fight mode. We harden. We burn out. We stay activated. Neither of those paths lead to sovereignty.

The work, as I see it, is not about fighting men or blaming everything outside of us. And it is not about pretending anger is unspiritual or wrong. It is about metabolising it. Regulating the nervous system. Allowing the body to feel safe enough to soften. Learning the difference between reactive anger and grounded boundary energy.

In my own journey, including my healing process with breast cancer, I had to look honestly at where I had overridden myself, where I had carried too much, and where unexpressed emotion had lived in my body. That process was not about blame. It was about responsibility and recalibration. It was about integration.

What I see in many women, especially those who have lived in survival mode for years, is that they are not actually lacking feminine energy. They are exhausted from living in constant internal overdrive. They often have not developed a healthy inner masculine - the part that protects, sets limits, makes clear decisions, and stops outsourcing safety. When that internal protector becomes steady, something shifts. The rage softens into clarity. Boundaries become cleaner. Strength no longer feels like hardness.

This is the space I now feel called to hold. Not a space of rebellion. Not a space of blame. But a space where women can name their anger safely, understand it, regulate it, and transform it into embodied power. Power that does not dominate and does not disappear. Power that is steady.

If you feel anger rising in you - at men, at systems, at your past, I want you to know it does not make you bitter or broken. It is information. It is a signal. And when it is understood rather than suppressed or amplified, it becomes clarity.

And clarity changes everything.

If this resonates, my 12-week container is designed to support women in moving from survival mode and suppressed anger into regulated, grounded sovereignty. You do not have to navigate that transition alone.