On the 10th of February, it will have been a year since my operation to remove the breast cancer. I was fortunate that it was very small and caught very early on, but I wanted to share some of my reflections, because it may help others in some way. In this post I am covering not only breast cancer itself but also the emotional impact, life after diagnosis and treatment and healing.
Challenging the Stigma: Cancer Is Not a Death Sentence
What I have learned is that many still see cancer as a death sentence. They may not use those words exactly, but it’s there. I get it. For many years I was scared of cancer too, until I learned more about it, beginning with my dad when he was diagnosed.
Listening to My Body and Embracing Healing
When I got my own diagnosis, I didn’t panic. I looked at what my body was trying to tell me. I looked at the areas that needed healing. The parts of my life that I had ignored, denied or repressed.
Cancer doesn’t only show up for certain people with certain issues in their life. It can be indiscriminate. Even the healthiest people can get cancer. Understanding it can help us if we ever face it ourselves or help us support others who do.
Coping with Others’ Reactions to a Cancer Diagnosis
I also noticed that when I shared my diagnosis, there were some people I lost along the way. Possibly because they feared… I don’t know. Did they think I would be a burden? Were they afraid of what might happen to me? Was it a trigger because they had already lost someone, or had someone in their life with cancer? I’ll never know.
And I’m slightly embarrassed to say this, but I’m going to be honest. There were a couple of people, some time ago, I moved away from when I discovered they had cancer. It took me a couple of years to realise why. I was looking after my 82-year-old father who was dying of cancer. I had no more emotional capacity at that time. I also had my son to look after and my mum, who was ill. My parents were divorced and everything felt like a lot. I have since apologised to one of the ladies I’m referring to.
On the 11th of this month, I will be having my first mammogram since my operation.
Anxiety and Life After Cancer: Navigating Setbacks
Part of my anxiety is that since the middle of last year, a number of other things have happened in my life that have thrown me off that wonderful healing course I went on when I was first diagnosed. So yes, part of me is concerned. Part of me wonders if I’ve put myself back. Time will tell.
The Importance of Asking: Understanding Individual Needs
But what I do know is this: whatever we might think another person is going through, or what we think they need, we can be completely wrong. The only way we will ever truly know what somebody needs is by asking them. And I also appreciate that even asking that question can feel scary.
Therapeutic Tools and Self-Reflection
As a therapist, I have a lot of tools. I work with the mind, and I work with the energy body, and that is a benefit to me. I’m fortunate. I have tools. I understand the mind, the emotional body, and the energy body - and that has supported me more than I can put into words over this past year. It hasn’t meant I haven’t felt fear or uncertainty. Of course I have. But it has meant I’ve been able to meet this experience with awareness, compassion, and a deeper level of healing.
I know not everyone has those tools -which is one of the reasons I’m sharing this. I often wonder… can we see cancer, and other illnesses, as the body trying to tell us something?
Exploring Alternative Perspectives: Is Cancer a Message from the Body?
Dr Sam Watts worked in Cancer Research within the NHS for 14 years, he now specialises in Ayurvedic practices and has written a wonderful book - The Ayurvedic Approach to Cancer. See also Mind Body Medical For me, what Dr Sam Watts speaks about makes deep sense. He explains that cancer doesn’t just suddenly appear out of nowhere - it tends to develop in a body that has been under long-term pressure, stress, and emotional strain.
From an Ayurvedic and mind–body perspective, he describes how cancer is more likely to thrive in an internal environment of chronic stress, inflammation, toxicity, exhaustion, and emotional disconnection. When the nervous system has been in survival mode for too long, when emotions are held in, and when the body is depleted or out of rhythm, our natural repair systems can become compromised.
His message isn’t about blame, but about understanding the terrain of the body and gently creating the opposite conditions; more calm, safety, nourishment, rest, emotional expression, and reconnection with ourselves and life. In doing so, we support the body to come back into balance and healing as much as possible.
Environmental Factors and Hormone Disruptors
From my own research, I’m also very aware that there are many additives and products that are hormone disruptors. For people like me, whose cancer fed on oestrogen, that can feel scary. When you start looking, it’s shocking how many hormone disruptors there are in our foods and everyday products. It can get overwhelming. I can see why it can feel easier to just let the doctors do their thing.
Please don’t think I’m against doctors - I’m not. And I know that if I were single and not a mother, I might have asked the doctors to give me time to see if I could heal it myself. But I wasn’t going to take that risk with people who love me and need me here.
The Unspoken Emotional Impact of Cancer
What is not talked about enough is the longer-term emotional impact of cancer. In those early months I journaled, cried, did EFT tapping, and generally let go of past hurts and experiences. But what I didn’t expect was the emotional impact months down the line, what it feels like to have had that physical and energetic… almost attack on the body.
I know the doctors weren’t attacking me. They were doing their job and focusing on removing the cancer. But from an energetic perspective, it can feel like an invasion of your space. And once it’s removed, everyone breathes a sigh of relief and thinks it’s over. What isn’t really talked about is the longer-term emotional impact of having had cancer and going through treatment.
Living with the Fear of Cancer Returning
I wonder how many on the outside are truly aware of what it’s like to go through invasive procedures - not just the operation, but everything beforehand, often on your own. And then there are the ongoing thoughts about whether it will return. Not always conscious. They just suddenly drop into your awareness.
I’ve had people say to me, “Just don’t think about it. It’s gone now. Don’t worry. It’s gone.” And often those words are said by people who have never had cancer themselves.
Embracing Uncertainty: The Power of Thought and Acceptance
Whilst I fully believe in the power of our thoughts and our intentions, we can never fully know why we got it in the first place.
However, one of my mentors - an amazing woman, a healer and psychic medium, someone who I know did all the “right” things, succumbed to breast cancer the second time round. I’ll be honest, that shock shook me to my core. How could someone like her not beat cancer? Having said that, I know there is another side to that, and maybe that’s for another day.
The bottom line for me is this: if there was less fear around cancer, that can only have a positive effect - on the person who has it and on the people around them.