Coming to a Painful Realisation

She has come to a painful but clarifying realisation. No matter what she has been through, she is seen as strong. That strength means people assume she is coping, that she doesn’t need checking in on, support, or company.

The Misunderstanding of Strength

There is a quiet belief that strength means self-sufficiency. That if someone is still standing, they must be fine. If they’re not saying they’re struggling, then the assumption is that they aren’t.

But strength is often misunderstood. Most people who are labelled strong didn’t choose it. They became that way because they had no other option. Life demanded it. Falling apart wasn’t safe, practical, or even possible.

The Distance That Discomfort Creates

She’s also begun to see something else. Illness, emotional depth, uncertainty, and big life changes are places many people don’t want to go. Rather than moving closer, people often step back, not necessarily out of unkindness, but because it feels uncomfortable.

Being close to someone whose life has been shaken can disturb the idea that life is predictable, that doing the ‘right’ things keeps you safe, that vulnerability can be avoided. Silence is often easier than facing that.

The Hurt of Silence

But silence still hurts. Not because of needing attention, but because it can feel like being forgotten. Like she no longer exists in the thoughts of those who matter. There is a quiet grief in realising that being strong has made her invisible when she most needs to be seen.

Knowing Her Needs

This doesn’t mean she is too much. Or that her pain doesn’t matter. It means her life now has a depth that not everyone knows how to meet. That truth is lonely, but it is also honest.

What Truly Matters Now

She is learning that she doesn’t have to completely fall apart to deserve care. Strength doesn’t have to be rigid. It can be soft. Real. Human. And the people who can meet her there - without fixing, without fear, without disappearing, are the ones who matter now.